This Is My World

New Post!

2009-06-20T15:16:43Z

Okay. I have been planning on getting a new phone cause the Virgin Cyclopes is a piece of crap and older than it really is which is about 5 years or more. I tried getting the new iPhone G3 S...but of course what always stops me is the Credit Game, aka don't have credit = no phone. So, my other option was the Blackberry Storm as I can get passed the credit game by paying $400 as a deposit, which I'm totally alright paying it to get a badass phone. As well as I think I'm worth it by now, I just have to wait at least two more paydays to have enough money for my bank credit card without going below 300 bucks. It's my goal to not go below that number no matter how desperate the time or times will be. I will not be discouraged by the Credit Game...I will overcome it and will play it like a genius. >:I

So, Riona (Tandy's friend from Canada) will be coming down next weekend, so this weekend we are cleaning the whole house! Dad, Collin, and Mom have to clean the basement mostly. I always get the kitchen and the laundry room, but today the living room is also one of my jobs. I won't be here during the weekdays as I have work, so I have to get as much done on my ends than Kay or Tandy as they don't have work.

That's all the biggies that have been going on. There are lots of other little things of course, but I have to get back to cleaning. ;)

Tell I Am A Dust Bunny, See Ya!
<3's

P.S: Just so you can get a little excited about something I found out today. I went onto Youtube, went to CBAmericanSupport (http://www.youtube.com/user/CBAmericanSupport), scrolled down checking the new layout, and BOOM! There was my photo in the Friends list, Five to the first top. I was speechless, and bubbly all over! I switched my old photo for a new version, as I did for this one. I secretly hope that the boys of Cinema Bizarre may see my piccy...but again it's just a silly dream.

Old Post Now

2009-06-20T14:57:51Z

I've watched many love movies and have heard enough love songs to know what media says Love should be, look like, and perhaps should feel like. The movies, most but not all, are wrong. While the loves songs are mostly right. If that's how you think, then the media has corrupted your mind. Love us undefined, because it can't be defined. The word Love is a general term, because every Love is as infinitely different as the individuals walking this planet. Everyone's Love happens in odd places, in familiar places, and important of all it happens on a whim, or it can be nourished by friendship. I have been in love. I know what my love feels like. My love is deep as the ocean and has soft as cotton candy. When I look into my loves eyes I feel secure, I would do anything to make looking into those eyes last as long as I could, and to be held in those familiar arms that I know so well. My body knows the touch of my love, my body reacts just thinking about them as my heart beats faster with every in take of breath. I have known that this was the feeling, my feeling, of love. How my love should feel...but I also know how much Love can hurt. I thought I would be the one who would be the "Dumped", but rather I was the one who ended it. It was the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. My heart and mind where bickering and scratching at each other fighting over themselves. My heart saying "Your love is suppose to last for miles!" while my mind was screaming, "Look at yourself, your bruised and cut from the distance and you can't take much more of this!" My mind won out because in reality I couldn't take much more of the distance. I regret doing it, but not much as I thought I would. I went out with a lovely person who I have had a crush on for a long time, and had had a crush on me since the day she saw me. It was the beginning of my senior year when I met her. We instantly had things in common, yet we had our on taste on things. It was refreshing, but as the senior year ended and my past loves separated ways, so did all my friends. Their was only a few I could actually hang out with without being an outcast within the outcasts, but she was the one tie I had to them all. I loved her in a way I had never loved anyone else. On my birthday I think it was evident that something was happening, I wanted to get over this pain and start something new; to start over. We went out since my birthday up until less than a week ago. She's moving on in her life, and we both knew that we couldn't have a long distance relationship because both of us had difficult with that. As well as her life was taking a turn that meant she just couldn't handle having a relationship, and my mind totally understood where she was coming from, but my heart was alright the day it happened. Now my heart hurts, because my connection with my friends has let go....my last remaining friends have left me...now I'm left with my one and only best friend, David. Yes, there is one more, but that person isn't online enough to be there for me. I'm strong on the outside, but what's inside my caged heart is a tiger starving, dehydrated, and thunder-scared wanting a person to cling too for comfort. As this storm passes, I cry and yell for the person my heart so longs for, but sadly that person is too far away to hug me, say comforting words, and to make my fear fall away like the wings of a fallen angel. I am alone, again. I should be accustomed to these feelings, but I cry as my mind dips it's smooth pale fingers into the dark depths of my feelings, fears, and doubts making my heart reel with pain. It lasts only an hour, but within my mind it feels like an eternity. As for my every day activities. I go to work at 8ish and work tell 5 most days, except on Fridays I leave at 3. I get Sat and Sun off, and I have paid holidays. I am content with my life, but my mind and heart know that there is much more to be gained. This is enough for tonight.

Tell My Tears Drown My Heart, See Ya!
<3's

Dorky-Ness To The MAX

2009-01-12T17:30:03Z

I always seem to start out with, "It's been a while," or some stupid thing like that well, screw it. I have been busy and I usually only use this site as an update site for my favorite bands...so poo on you. Though, right now I'm updating because I can...and I would like to share a video of me being a total dork, yet perhaps cute person.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PC3YeiRwhoM There is the link for you.

Leave comments, or not. I don't care, but I do really like getting them.

Seven long days before Bush is out of office. I can't wait. Even though Obama knows that all his plans are going to set us way back in the national debt, I think in his lifetime perhaps if everyone gets rid of all their personal debt we could get rid of half the national debt. So, yes it will be rough, but hopefully there will be lots more jobs for people. Those are my two cents on the matter.

<3's

Yes, I did it. Shoot me.

2008-12-02T18:53:56Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In April I didn't flush (-1 points). In February I ruled Canada as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). In July I gave frostcloud a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In October endlesslyshe and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). Last month I helped kissme_im_drunk see the light (8 points).

Overall, I've been nice (713 points). For Christmas I deserve a new bike!

Sincerely,
Amaya_Miharu

Hello, My Lovelies! ;)

2008-08-08T22:00:16Z

Lots of stuff to talk about!

I woke up this morning at 8 getting ready to venture into the world, meaning putting my mask on, aka make-up. I had to call the DMV place to ask a few questions about it, and a guy named Mike picked up. I asked him about the tests if I took D.Ed. He said that I didn't have too. I told him you just made me the happiest girl in the world, and that he took away my nervousness. He laughed, and told me what I needed to bring. Then we both hung up. Mom and I dropped off Collin at work, and headed to the DMV. We got there, and waited. I was still a little nervous, but when we got up there there was an African-American guy sitting and swiveled to see us. I gave him everything, and when he got to the address part of putting in, I gave him a state-whatever letter. He realized then that I was the girl who called. It was Mike! We laughed, and we did a few hand jabs. He called me a problem child after awhile of talking. I went over to the sight test, as I wear glasses. I grinned slightly seeing the numbers, and I asked "Are they suppose to be numbers?" He gave a shaky laugh, and replied back, "That isn't a good thing to say." I read him the 5th line quickly and easily, and headed back over there, he was still laughing. I just told him I'm making problems. He smiled, and after a few more laughs I got that flimsy paper ID. The picture was alright, I wish I just smiled a little, but I usually never smile in pictures anyway. So, it's okay I guess. Next Mom and I headed to get my Social Security Number card, as we have moved and can't find it. Both are going to be in my wallet in about one to three weeks.

The next thing that made today wonderful was that Baron is running and at least functional. He makes bad sounds though, because of the power steering, sounds like a dying stork mixed with a bad frog. It's really horrible, but at least it is in the driveway. I cleaned it after we brought it home, as well as cleaned the inside of it. It just needs to be vacuumed. As for things that need to be done with it to make it so I can freely drive it are these: new left rear tire, fix broken tail light, put new fluid in, and get it tagged for this state.

That is pretty much it, and it's only 4:40. What I day, and it's still going. Phew, physically I'm tired, but emotionally I'm high.

Tell The World Falls Into My Hands, See Ya!

<3's

Found You, Found Me, Home

2008-07-28T17:36:13Z

I'm home and glad to be. I missed Lawrence! So, now that's over with. It's been awhile!

On to other things such as the car that my parents got me (even though it needs some work such as a new tire, new batter, and a few other things). It's a Chrysler LeBaron 1987: Pictured after blogging. Got some kickin' doughnuts for a dollar! Woo, Coconut!

Anway, I'm looking for a job, and seem to be finding a few that are pretty good. Just need to get an application and a interviews for them, and viola. Also, something to think about is that I'll be getting an apartment some time next year or before Tandy graduates as we will be living together to get our lives a goin'. I think that is a perfect idea and a most heavenly one at that, cause I love Tandy and it would be great anyway as we get along so well. So, that also goes on to my "To-Do" list; finding an apartment, but job and car come first. At any rate, I'm single officially. Simple as that.

Tell The Angels Sing Me To Heaven, See Ya!

<3's

Found You, Found Me, Murder The Heart

2008-06-27T03:23:28Z

When I try to do something there is a wall that comes up that always blocks me. I want to get away from a person, but I just can't seem to do anything at the time. Something always gets in the way. Either my logic, heart, or both screaming at me to do nothing and wait, but I've been very patient for a year or less. I can only wait for so long, and I'm starting to figure that out. I need to know that I can let go and be okay by myself. That is the best way to know that you can find love and know that you are going to be okay without it, it's a bonus. Just like anything else that you don't need is. I know I can survive without love, or a companion, but I long to share my life with another. I just don't think that what I am dealing with right now is okay. I really need to just end it, but...I don't know exactly how to do it. It always seems like a bad time to do so, but I can't take this anymore.

Tell My World Stops Turning, See Ya.

<3's

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wonder if it is okay to hate your father's family enough to wish they were not yours. The only thing I see that is good about them is that I have fun with the children they bore to this world, they seem to turn out better than their parents, at least most that I talk too. I want to go away...I want to get a job and get out of the house, I can't believe that I am thinking this way. I hate this. I just want to leave so badly. I hate the way my parents seem to be walked over, at least my father, to Uncle Thad. I hate him so much...I can't...stand him. I mean, I love him, but god...it's so hard too. I am shivering with sadness, and anger. I hate myself for hating, I hate myself for thinking this thoughts, but I have to realize that I am only human, and I hate being human. I wish I was something else...something else that doesn't have to hate these things.

Found You, Found Me, Raving Mad

2008-04-19T01:52:58Z

Concert Portion:
Songs (In Order): Give'em Hell Kid, This Is How I Disappear, Dead!, Hang'em High, My Way Home Is Through You, Welcome To The Black Parade, I don't Love You, The Sharpest Lives, Headfirst for Halos, Heaven Help us, Cemetery Drive, House of Wolves, Kill All Your Friends, I'm Not Okay, Mama, You Know What they Do To Guys Like Us In Prison, Teenagers, Famous Last Words, James' Solo: November Rain (Guns&Roses), Cancer
::ENCORE::
Desert Song, Desolation Row (Dylan cover), Helena!

Drive By was amazing!
Before Prison began, Gee chanted "Judgment" & "Do you want to be fucking judged!?" he would point to the audience after either and we would have to scream at him. At first we didn't know what we were suppose to do, then we got into it.
Mikey got a little rub on the shoulder and a pat from Gee.
Bob + messy long hair = Love.
Gee made many hip movements and caressing himself.
Frank seemed to not notice the other guys while he played..
Mikey was silent through the whole thing.
Ray and Gee had a moment between a song, it was to dark to tell what was going on though
Gee and Frank talked about something between another song
Ray's solos were fantastic and he was insanely into it
Gee messed up Headfirst for Halos, I think, and he said that he needed to reward us somehow, so he decided to end the song. lol
Lots of parts with the audience singing back to them
There was a moment when James (the new member: Keyboardist) had his own song in the middle of everything. Something about a road and dirt maybe...Gerard had to help him out with the words because he confessed that he didn't know them. It was so cute!
Before "I'm Not Okay" Gee began on a rant about hoping that we were eating our Wheaties before or while listening to the song. "I HOPE YOU ALL ARE EATING YOUR FUCKING WHEATIES!"

After the concert I got the "I survived, The Black Parade" shirt and my father got the "Theater" shirt. I also got the Drive By album (5$), they all signed it, and they also posed for two pictures with me. It was so awesome, they were awesome! I can't believe they really did that. They are so great, even their music is fabulous, and it really touched my heart cords, specifically what has been going on.

http://www.myspace.com/amaya_miharu This is were all the pictures are. Forgive me for having them on Myspace, but...there are many. Thank you for you're patience.

My Life:
I'm single now. I'm searching again for a love companion. I have two people who I would like to see if they are free. School is going wonderfully. Senior Skip Day is coming (May 9th), as well as the breakfast and BBQ soon to follow. I just hope that I don't have to take any finals. That would suck. D8< Anway...my calves still hurt from the concert by jumping on my father's toes and just jumping all around. I can barely walk up or down stairs with out groaning in pain, or falling.

Found You, Found Me, Seeing Ghosts

2008-04-11T00:22:55Z

Jeez, it's been awhile. Since perhaps the MCR concert? Anway, MCR is coming back and I knelled down and asked my dad to see if we both could go like last time. Sort of come full circle, just like the Black Parade. I was there when the started it, and I'll (hopefully) be there when the end it.

Been having love trouble. K has not been contacting me for over a week or so either by email or MSN. I'm tired of trying, so I'll just say that it's over. See if K will do something to get me back, or just leave me alone. Either way, it seems that I can live just fine without K. Perhaps this is what is really suppose to happen.

School is about to end. Graduation and Prom is approaching (also ties into love trouble). I don't know where the heck I'm going for college.

Things are pretty up in the air right now.

<3's

Found You, Found Me, Hooked On A Star

2007-09-21T22:42:24Z

It's been FOREVER!! But I have some really good news for those of you who like Blaqk Audio. I hopefully will be able to post this thing in a community, I'll have to ask which one would be appropriate. Here it is:

I went to the Blaqk Audio show here in Lawrence. It was..... I can't think of any words that could do this concert any justice. I really can't. I'll be posting some of the photos from my phone that I took. I touched Davey's hand. It was so soft, like he had lotion on. After the show I got to see Davey and Smith. They both signed my Blaqk Audio cover, and Davey signed a red t-shirt for a friend of mine. Jade didn't come out, which was disappointing. Oh well. Davey was so nice, even though he was rushed. I said goodbye to him, thinking that he wasn't going to say it back, then he did! He didn't look up from what he was doing, but he said goodbye back! I was so surprised! I was shaking from all my adrenaline being gone. He also looked me square in the eyes during Semiotic Love, for two seconds. I think it was because I was wearing my star necklace/choker. Listen to the song on my Myspace profile to understand the significance of my necklace/choker. I had to fight not to collapse before the guys came out. I was in the pit, which was more tame then I thought, but I was in the second row (middle right), which could have been why. I about collapse twice during the whole set. Anyway, there was this girl in front of me that would stick her butt out and shake it to the music before Blaqk Audio came on, which in turn rubbed against my pelvis. It was not pleasant. After awhile she stopped, I thought she got the hint on what she was doing. I was wrong. She didn't get the hint. I didn't mind really, she was really nice during the show when I sort of smacked her in the ear. There was also this man-lady behind me who was large width-wise, who yelled/screamed she was from OK and drove 4 hours to be there. She wouldn't shut up, but I guess you would like a reaction if you just drove 4 hours to be there. I know people who have driven longer to see a band, lady. Anway, she was behind me for half of the time rubbing against my backside, though the girl in front of me wasn't doing her dance thing (thank goodness)! At any rate, you will see the photos and know where I was and how close I was to the stage.

Tell The Universe Shakes My World Apart, See Ya!

<3's </>

P.S.:: THE PHOTOS THAT ARE MENTIONED WILL PREHAPS ONLY BE ON MY...MYSPACE ( http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=44952014), UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. SORRY GUYS.

Found You, Found Me, Cleaning HomeSickness

2007-07-20T20:07:10Z

Yesterday was a really awesome day. Though I still can't wait to go home! Ciarra and Kay were, well to say the most, behaving really great together. They usually don't get along all that beautifully. We played Bullsh*t, Old Maid, and some other card games. We were all alone in the house, so we made our own dinner; which was of pizza realated food substances. Just like yesterday, Papa woke us up yelling that he needs help with somethings. He wasn't nice about it either. We so far cleaned up Ciarra's room, "Kay's" room, and the living room. There is still the kitchen to do and some little clutters around. Tomorrow mom and dad are to come and pick me and Kay up to go home. I can't wait! I think we are leaving on Sunday though. I'm not quite sure about the plans. All I know is by the end of this weekend I'm going home!! Update later tonight. I know I'll be on...if not. Forgive me.

Tell The World Turns To Ice, See Ya!

<3's

Found You, Found Me, Finally Up Again

2007-07-05T20:11:30Z

It's been way to long since I updated. Here is a lowdown on what people who read this have missed in my life.

My great-grandmother is dieing and going loopy. Though she is still alive and in a nursing home. I bad one it seems.

Prom was a blast, though many pictures taken. It was wonderful! Lovely time. I danced with Calib, who I have a crush on. The night after that went really well.

Our new computer is up and running so I don't have to be downstairs in teh smoke, and the beer smog.

Calib said he was "interested" in me. We went out, hanged out, and then kissed a few times. It just didn't work out though. He wanted to go faster in the relationship than I wanted to. So, I broke up with him Saturday. I'm not emotional about it, I'm sort of happy. I have someone I love who I want to be with, but I'm scared of what my parents are going to say when they find out at one point.

POTC 3 was wonderful. Never liked Elizabeth and still don't.

"Teenagers" by MCR is an awesome video. Simple, outragious, and fantastic. I loved the part were Gerard just gets pummeled by the teens that rush on stage.

Passed Driver's Ed a week and a half before it ended! Don't have a car of my own yet, nor an official license as I'm 18, but I'm getting there!

It has been over a year since Zac's death. I dear friend of mine who commited suicide. I visited his grave the day he died putting flowers by is gravestone. It was right by his parents, whose was bigger. Even in death they over power him, though his was taller than his parents. I think he would have liked it that way. I weep there with Brian next to me for support. I could have stayed there all day if I wanted to, but we had to go.

Many new shirts were bought while this was all going on. Many which are wonderful!

Tandy got a new Tablet which I love. She named it, "Nepoleon". I think it's a wonderful name. New ID on my DeviantArt website. I'm hoping to update it more and more as my senior year begins and ends.

Going to go onto a bus to my grandmother's house all by myself. I haven't been on a bus more than 30 or less minutes. So, three hours or so is scary to me. Anything could happen. There could be a hi-jacker, we could crash, or a bomb could be on the bus! Yes, I worry about things like that.

"The Producers" is and will be a wonderful fantastic extravagant movie to watch over and over again. Watch it if you haven't! If you have....watch it again!!

Been typing up two different stories to pass the time when I don't have anything to do. Both are vampire related stories and are not very long.

And now for today's entry!

This Fourth of July was okay. It rained most of the time, but I did get to fire off some at my aunt's house. Kallie never did call me back to see if I could spend the night. Though, I doubt that would have happened anyway, as it is a holiday. I bet she had other things better to do than be pestered by me for a night or so. Yes, I am depressed and yes I am a little moody, so stop now before something bad happens to your mood. This is my release...not yours. I am heartbroken that I never got a call to tell me anything. I checked the home phone and my cell phone to see if she called at any time...she didn't. I'm really crushed about it. I mean I'll be leaving in less than three days to go to Grandma's house for at least two weeks. I just feel that I should get as much of my friends as possible, not just Kallie. Though, Kallie (I thought) was a sure wage to have a good solid night or so of her company. It seems that went up in smoke along with my Fourth of July. The only fine thing that happened after I got home was that I finally got the picture of BlaqkAudio that I sought after. (Hint: my new icon picture.) I will soon have a BlaqkAudio banner when I have sufficient pictures, but for now it's just the icon. I don't really like fourth of July, not because I'm "un-American" (I'm not), when you don't have fireworks of your own, and you just pay attention to the ones people are firing off, it sounds like a battlefield, bombings, cannon fire, and air raids. I don't like how that sounds when you’re not the ones making the noise. Perhaps next time the fourth rolls around you'll pause approximately 3 to 5 minutes and listen in to the battle echoes of this day. It may shock you what you think about the Fourth. It did for me...not saying I don't love being a pyro. Seems that's it really. I wish you all a Happy Fourth Of July and an improved day than I have had.

Found You, Found Me, Frustrated

2007-04-28T00:02:13Z

Here is the deal; Saturday we are going to Wellington to go see Mamu, my great-grandmother on my father's side, as she is very ill to the point of perhaps death. Now, there is dear friend of mine who is having her 18th birthday party, which I would really like to go to, but we have to go to Wellington. Yes, yes, I know the moral choice is to pick "go see Mamu in Wellington". Though, there are other reasons I don't want to go other than the Birthday party. Reason #1: I have a bucket full of homework that I doubt would get done while in Wellington. Reason #2: I really don't want to see Mamu in her weakened state as it would only make it worse to go to her funeral and make it harder to heal the wound of her death, and I don't want to remember her like that. I would really like to stay and go to the birthday party and do homework. I don't know. I just really don't want to go, but then there is Dad who would go absolutely bonkers and get into a lecturing fit if I didn't go. This just sucks. I guess there is nothing I could do other than tell him, which I don't want to deal with his "frustrated or angry" talking, as he says (I still say his volume is to high), and getting a total lecture about "Family v. Friends". JEEZ, I HATE THIS!! Gah, and the internet right now is as slow as F*ck, which, FYI, is slower than molasses running down a hill during the coldest peak of winter. I guess that's it really. Damn I really want to go to that Birthday party!!!! *grumble...grumble*

Found You, Found Me, Locked Down

2007-04-20T00:02:33Z

Okay okay okay....this is what happened to me today. First hour of school was okay it went really smoothly. Then when I get into my seminar class people began saying that someone called 911 and said that they were going to bomb City Hall and one of the schools. One of the girls were texting their friend who goes to Freestate and said people were leaving. So, I slightly freaked out on the inside, then the announcements came on saying that we were under lockdown and anybody who usually leaves to go get lunch won't be able to, so the school will pay for the people who don't have the money to or don't have their cards. Suddenly people began to get the pink slips saying that they could leave; the office was flooded with parents calling their children to come home. Between 9:35 and 11:05 we got updates on what was going on, but we didn't know a lot. Mostly that the person(s) who called didn't specify what city, so all the schools in the whole county when on lockdown. After seminar was over, I went to my 4th hour. All the halls were pratically empty from all of the teenagers who were pulled from school by their parents, though some where at a musical competition/festival, sports, or some other activity. Only a few made it back to their 4th hours, before being grabbed by a pink slip. When school was over, I had to explain what was happening to Tandy as she was at the music festival thing. So when we got home, my mother explained that the call said it was a building, not a school. Then, Tandy was watching the News and they said that there have been other calls today around us that got some bomb calls. Well, they caught the guy & there is school tomorrow. I think thats it really.....

Found You, Found Me, Protectively Harrased

2007-04-07T03:16:13Z

Let me describe who this being is before I start my rant on what he is doing to my sister and how unfair it is. This being, I don't even what to call him that, is an old man possibly between in the years of 65 - 85 who likes fishing, who wears hats, to cover his brown spotted balding head, the hats have army pins plastered all over it, who thinks that this bus is his, and who thinks that any discomfort to him must be made apparent to everyone on the bus in earshot and changed for the better of himself.

My sister has a very hefty backpack as she has many books in it to occupy her extra time in school. She usually has both straps around her shoulders, but she was in a hurry that day, and only had one on ( I presume). While getting on the bus her backpack hit the old bast*rds shoulder. After we got onto school grounds, be proceeded to get up, hunch over the first two seats, and pronounce to everyone that they have to hold backpacks with two hands in front of them. Though, in the past two days, he has allowed me to have my backpack slung over my shoulder with one strap both days, but stops Tandy when she gets on to do what he said. Either getting off or on the bus in the morning and after school.

For me, I think that's harassment, and is just plain unfair. It was the very first time that he got hit by the damn backpack. It just upsets me so much. He is retiring this year of bus driving, thank the heavens!!! I wish that after he retires that he just dies a horrible death and suffers as well. All the verbal abuse that he has done to those teenagers over the many years of driving to be turned into physical pain when he is dying.

Anway, on a slightly happier note I wrote a poem during lunch for a magazine called, "Graffiti", I think. It's like five lines about the blooming of spring after the sorrow and mourning of winter time. My artwork is coming along great, I can't wait to get started on our new project(s). They are going to look really great.

MuZiK NuWz!: My Chemical Romance's "Teenagers" is to officially hit radios April 23, though some radio stations already have been playing it. Hopefully the video is to come out before they start playing it on the radios, hopefully. I can't wait to hear it on the radios and soon tape the video. It's going to be great.

Found You, Found Me, Blushing Saddness

2007-04-03T02:13:28Z

Some grim news this morning...but before we go into that I think there is something that you need to know about how our school announcements go. When the principle of our school comes onto the intercom it usually means that 1.) there was a death in the school or someone of the school, or 2.) some type of encouragement for the day. Now, he came on and announced that one of the new Chemistry teachers died of a head hemorrhage and died yesterday, April 1. This was a hard blow to Tandy and me as she was one of his students, and I was an acquaintance of his. As I came down the stairs, I got a glance of Keleb in the Nurse's office. I peeked my head in to say Hi and that he looked really nice today because he really did. He came over and guided me to the lunchroom his arm around my shoulders and my arm around his waist. We talked about his work, and then he says that he can't really have a girlfriend unless she is okay with only seeing him once a week. I, being the hidden romantic that I am, thought "I would be okay with it,". He kept on looking at me strangely, I didn't really think a lot on this (but soon after I did). We got into the lunchline and we really couldn't keep on holding on to each other, so he said that I could let go. It seemed I blushed slightly as he gave a half smile and left. I was sort of giggly, giddy, and slightly pissed off at the people who would move in the lunchroom. So, that was my day. It was pretty good considering it was a Monday. I got a Prom dress for prom. I got invited as you know by a senior, so I was going to ask Keleb if he was going for the slight chance that he would ask me to dance or something along those romantic thought lines.

Tell My Black Knight Comes, See Ya!

Found You, Found Me, Joyous

2007-04-02T01:27:31Z

Today was a beautiful day, weather wise and any other "wise" you can think of. We went Downtown, just us girls. I saved up $11 in change, but the damn machine was all, "it costs you to change your change into dollars", so I got $10.02 back. I hate that machine! We couldn't go to a bank, as the banks are closed on Sundays. Pheesh. They should be open for little things like that. Stupid currency. Anway, went to "Clair's". I don't really like it there. Lots of preppy things, though they do have a nice small assortment of goth/punk/rock accessories and belts. I got a nice wallet for the money that I will be bringing in during summer! Yay, job! Still have money for my phone, which is awesome. Went into "The Third Planet" and got 26 sticks of incense. I love incense!! I love that shop. It smells so nice. I wish I could work there just for the smell. At any rate, I'm sort of addicted to Gaia Online. Other than that, it's been a pretty good weekend. I didn't go to the wedding if your all wondering. I wanted to watch a show that missed for two weeks in a row, Rock Block on MTV2 which only comes on on Saturdays. As well as I don't know Rob all that much, so my presence there would have really mattered. So, on to Music News!

MuZiK NuWz: Blaqk Audio is made up of Jade Puget and Davey Havok of AFI who as their myspace site claims they are, "2 boys in love with synthesizers and software." Their first song, Bitter For Sweet is a song I love very much and can't get enough of. It's seductive, soft, and tempting gothic melodic lyrics sung by Davey is just wonderful. Jade did a fabulous job with the fantastic music that goes with Davey's voice. I'm going to buy the CD & some merchandize when I can. That's it on them!

Tell Blood Falls As Rain, See Ya!

Found you, Found Me, Down

2007-03-30T03:45:18Z

Today was sort of depressing. I saw Sammie & Josh, no hi's from either one of them. Then I kept on seeing couples everywhere in the hallways. Every time I see a couple I sort of wish that I had that, have a sweetheart to be...well...sweet with and someone I can count on to be there...sigh. Oh well...I guess I'll just have to concentrate more on where I'm going then the people around me. Anway, Kay is being a brat like always, I shouldn't say this anymore as you people should know already that my sister is evil and I don't like her (not saying I don't love her). Tandy is such a modest cutie when she is roleplaying with her friends or when someone wants to see her art. I love her to death! Been talking to Carmen, Ben (love him), Kale, Brian, and Keith (online friend). Other than those people and few who I say "Hi" too, they are the only ones I really talk to now a days. I feel kind of depressed, but hopefully the shower I had, and that tomorrow is Friday will help my mood. It's raining...hard. Flash Flood Warning announced by Kay, always wanting attention...bad attention. Anway, I love the rain, it clears the air of pollutants that we put in the air, and my lungs. Hmm...makes me want to create a poem about the rain...maybe I will, maybe not. Don't know, anway.

Music News: Still no date on the release of the next single "Teenagers", though some speculate it's April 2, though some say that the date was suppose to be the release date of "I Don't Love You" the UK single.

Update later tomorrow, I have to go to bed and get the dishes done.

Love To Those Who Care, See Ya!

Found You, Found Me, Sickening

2007-03-11T23:36:51Z

Yes, that's right folks! Your wonderful and idiotic friend is getting sick. As to why, here is the story...

Yesterday, I went to the Take Action Tour! show at the Granada with Carmen featuring The RedJumpSuitApparatus, Emery, ScaryKidsScaringKids, Static Lullaby, & Kaddisfly. I wore my fav black pants with silver flower decorations and my MCR t-shirt, as I didn't have any other shirt really to wear at that moment. It was chilly out, but not enough to make me shake or anything, I could handle it. After the show was over at 11:30 or so, it was fantastically enjoyably wonderful, it was late evening and it got particularly cold. It felt good after being in the hot Granada with people going crazy, I think two people fainted and many others got hurt. I have never seen so much chaos down in the pit in all of the concerts I have been too. Anway, after about 5 to 10 minutes of cooling down outside the chill of the night began to take it's toll on me. I was standing by the tourbus-s (perhaps giving a chance for them to come out and say hi or sign something) when I started to feel the cold, then my "Mafia" Uncle & friends came and picked me up. I had to run after them though. I didn't know I could run that fast after standing for five or so hours.

So, yes, the chill of yesterday and perhaps the cold night of the MCR concert is taking me down to sick town.

As for the "Mafia" comment, I was picked up by Uncle Collin (Not my real uncle, but he lives with us making him a member of the family and not a friend who lives with us), Rob, and Justin (both friends of my dad), so it seemed to me that they were MafiaMen making sure that there was no one who was bothering me as I waited, and to make sure I was okay. It was a great laugh for me and my mom, because only one of them could have came and picked me up.

So yeah, I can't wait for this week to start (yes, I am happy to be going to school this week), because we have seminar for four days, no school Friday, and SpringBreak begins! Going to Grandma's like usual, not that that's a complaint, just it's usually what we do during SpringBreak: Go to Grandma's House. Well, that's really all...Hopefully the dinner I ate, a nice bath/shower, and a good nights rest will kick this sickness in the rump. Tell Whenever, See ya!

Rise Against, The Black Parade, My Chemical Romance & Me!

2007-03-03T18:41:05Z

Okay...this is going to be long..so beware (pictures will come later).

I got out of school to go to the concert at the Kansas Expocenter, though I could have gone to school and still have made it there. Anway, I took my cell phone, tickets (DUH), a camera (didn't use it though), and some chap stick in a bag. I had to take the bag back to the car after we parked like five lanes away from the entrance. Anway, we got lost, parked, then slinked over to the other line, as the line we were in was the balcony line, so we got into the other one that was across it. So we waited there for 45 to an hour in the blistering cold wind, which might I add picked up as the sun went down, I only had a thin long sleeved shirt, but it was still really cold. As we waited, I really really had to go to the bathroom, so that was torture. We got in, gave the guy my ticket, and headed straight for the bathroom which was thankfully right near the entrance (Southeast, if you want to be specific). After I relieved myself, we headed for the floor, but dad had to go to the restroom, so I told him that I would be to the left corner of the stage. So I got two 5th row middle seats. We could see the full stage, even though we were on the side. Anway, dad came back and gave me 30$ to go get a shirt. As I waited in line Rise Against began their list. I got my shirt (one with the blimps) and sprint walked back to my seat.

They did Ready to Fall, another song I don't know, then Prayer of the Refugee, but they did two songs before while I was waiting. During Prayer of the Refugee everybody got their lighters, and cellphones out, it was a very moving. He did a speech about how when we are here we are welcomed, belong, and not freaks or weirdos. It was awesome, and gave a shout out to MCR. They got of stage and it took about ten or so minutes to get The Black Parade's stuff going. While we were waiting a Green Day song came on. I sang then stopped, everybody else in the arena was singing it! It made me really happy and I began to sing along again.

The lights went off, everyone screamed, and then a hospital bed came into view. Gerard did his little dead walk/hand gestures and sang "The End"; at the first climax the curtain was pulled back. It was fabulous! The went into "Dead!". Now it gets really mixed up on which songs came first or second or whatever. I think they did the album in order, but I could be wrong. The pyrotechnics were great! I could feel the heat even before the fire got to its tallest height. The heat was intense, I can only image what Bob was feeling with all those other ones around him. Gah. Anway, in addition to the fire, there were big booms after Mama, Welcome To The Black Parade, and two more I can't remember. Gerard gave his "Daily Mail" speech but a shorter version. After he did that they went into "Teenagers", then "Famous Last Words" I think. They went off stage for about 5 or so minutes. (During I think "House of Wolves" Mickey had a problem with his guitar, while he talked to the tech guy, he was still playing his part. It was so cool. There was this other part when the sparks came raining down Mikey was getting to close to where they were going to shower down, Gee grabbed him and smiled like, "Get the hell away from there or you'll catch your hair on fire, you idiot." It was sweet.)

Gerard came out yelling,"Did you FUCKING miss US?!?!" We screamed back, "YEAH!!!". He pointed to Bob, he drummed what was to sound like,"Fuck". Gee pointed to us and said "Yeah!!!". He pointed to Bob again, "Crash"-"Fuck!". Gee pointed to us, "YEAH!!". He did this for about 3 or 4 more times. At the last one he bowed to Bob to do one more, then he turned and smiled at us, turned back to Bob, and raised both hands and we all screamed, "Yeah!". Then they went into "I'm Not Okay". They did some other songs, but here are some of the things that happened during them. Gerard made us chant something along the lines of, "Let us go" or "Don't Let Us Go!!" I'll I really remember is saying ".....Go!" at the end; this went into "Prison". During the song "Give'm Hell Kid!" Gee sang "Your dreams and your FUCKING (hopeless) hair.". After, "Prison" a fight was started in the middle of the pit. He addressed the issue, "Now, We don't want a fight, do we?" He rose his hand in a gesture of questioning. The crowd yelled "Yeah!", then they went into "Venom", I think it was.

Now for the pairings of Waycest, Frankie/Gee, and Ray/Gee, Ray/Frankie. (I don't know which songs these actions were taking place, so forgive me, though some are during either "House of Wolves" , "Famous Last Words", and Revenge Album songs.

Frankie/Gerard: Gerard when behind Frankie and looked at him mischievously. He tugged either on his belt loop or on his pants near is butt. I screamed of course. Gerard circled around Frankie and just smiled and went on to what he was doing. Frankie didn't seem to have noticed. To bad.

Mikey/Gerard: The grabbing of Mikey away from the shower of upcoming sparks. Gerard caressing Mikey's cheek (Revenge tracks) looking at the sweat like it was gross and sexy at the same time then wiping it off. Mikey was walking up to Gee, Gee turns around and puts his hand on Mikey's hair/head and seems to have an orgasm.

Ray/Gerard: Gerard roughly grabs Ray's hair and does a sexy pose then pushes him away.

Frankie/Ray: Ray goes over to Frankie and he jam at him, Frankie doesn't notice and gets to close. Ray backs up, then Frankie notices finally and nods at Ray and they jam out together with big grins on their faces.

*During one of the songs, someone threw a pink, yellow, and red boa onto the floor, Gerard saw it and pointed to the guard to give it to him, he wore it throughout the whole song (Black Parade). It was great. He took it off, then during the Revenge songs, another boa was thrown up, but he didn't wear it, he just put it by Bob's drums.*

After the Concert was over we said goodbye to two people we friend-ed, Heather and her guy. Heather and I went to the floor and grabbed some confetti that was shot out everywhere during the 'WTTBP'. As we left the stadium, after taking a short restroom break, and I say two people sitting on the bench. I recognized RAE from my art class!! I tried to get away from my dad, but he wasn't, then I said it is okay. I did a ninja move under the rope, and slightly yelled, "HI RAE!!" She looked up from her cell phone, and screamed. We hugged and talked about where we were. To my surprise, Shane was there! He gave his floor tickets to Rae and her friend that was sweet of him because he had to have balcony seats. So, after one more hug of screaming, my dad and I headed home. We talked about how AFI and MCR helped me through Zack's death and how well it fit into three stages though my voice was giving me difficult to speak as for when I spoke my voice sounded like either a midgets (no offence to any person out there) or I sucked in a great amount of helium. I told mom what happened in a short version, then I went to bed.

The End!

Found You, Found Me, Waiting

2007-03-01T00:40:38Z

Well, my father is a total dumb-ass. We have no music to listen to on the PC, because dad decided that the one that we originally used ("his") is well, HIS! All of what we have is on the new one that we got from on of his friends, so that's nice and all, but it would be nice to have some music to listen to on this one. He's so selfish when it comes to the little details, like having music to listen too. Anway, on a happier note, one of my friends is getting tickets to the Taking Action Tour! It's going to be so awesome!! I just hope her dad can get them in time. o.o I pray they do, if not we can try and go to other concerts this summer as by then I'll have income, a car (getting fixed), and time to go to concerts. ^-^ I can't wait tell summer, and that's saying something, cause I hate summer (other than the swimming, I lovez the swimmingz!). I got a doodle-bear named Squibblez from Katie for my birthday, because she couldn't come to my party it was sad the reason why she missed it. Oh well, I made the doodle bear a HippieGothic Bear. So...I'm wanting to call her Sizzors or something like that. I think that's it really.

ONE MORE DAY!!! *squeels* =^-^=

Found You, Found Me, Watching

2007-02-17T19:24:04Z

I love the movie, Nanny McPhee!! Just saw it on HBO, no we don't have it but they are doing the "month free" thing, so my family is taking advantage of that offer! Haha.....On another more solomn note, after yesterday and the day before with the whole "concert rudeness"; she has turned her "sweet, innocent, and helpful" sister act on at least for alittle while as mom is still here or when she's around. Anway, I feel like most of my last entries are complaints and annoying ragging. So, I'll try not to do that so often. Nothing really going on today or at least I don't think that what I planned with a friend will still be going on. I haven't posted a pic in awhile; I think I'll do that. Blue October was in town yesterday; I was sad that I couldn't go because it was sold out. GAH! I need money, but sadly I really can't get one for reasons that are only mine. This guy named Ben in my last hour art class is really cool! Just one class day, we just said "hi, what's your name" and now were are like...aquantice friends. Close enough to hug, but far enough that I don't know all about him. I hope that made sense to you people. Been kind of sullen today, as there is nothing really to do. I get to be on the computer more often today. So, I'll stop here cause something could happen that I need to update this or something. Tell Today, See Ya!!

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I think this picture is really depressing. As for why, look at Gerard, he seems like he is wondering, "Why does this count?" or he seems like he has done it so many times there is no excitment about it anymore. This picture just makes me really sad and wish that I could have given him some chocolate or a hug, not like a fangirl hug, but a meaningful hug; like someone who doesn't know you coming up to you and hugging you like you hug your mother who you really love and are glad that they are here in this world. Yeah...that's what I would have wanted to do....

Found You, Found Me, Crying Out

2007-02-04T23:21:41Z

I think I'm losing another friend. I don't think I'll ever see her/him again. I'll never get to have a best friend anymore. I know that the song "Sleep" by The Black Parade/My Chemical Romance can now be fully accepted into my life. Most of the songs I listen to are incorporated into my life somehow, now "Sleep" can join the symphony.

I don't think I can handle another death. I don't want to go through a funeral of a friend again. I don't think I could handle it...I don't want to lose her/him. He/She's, practically, the only best friend I have from my past that hasn't left me. I know this all sounds selfish, but damn, if it will keep him/her here, then fine. I don't care, but...I do care about him/her, I mean who wouldn't. I just don't want to think about it, but it's hard not too. I just don't get it. I don't think I could stand to have to lose another friend...I just can't lose another one. He/she's making me so nervous about his/her actions, and I just.... I don't know...I can't really type without stopping to regain my composure. I don't want to accept another death, I don't want to lose another friend, I just don't want to do a lot of things...I just don't. I'm so scared right now, I'm shaking and I can't really think straight.

I just can't seem to help anybody anymore. I mean, what is the point of being someone's friend if it doesn't matter to him/her that you’re the one who would be mourning him/her if they died? To my friend, it doesn't seem to matter that I'd be the one who is crying for everybody's loss because they couldn't see his/her personality and got to know him/her. I don't want to think that in the past tense or whatever you say that has "was" and the like in it. I think that's all really. Things keep repeating in my head in a circle, from losing my friend to nothing I do matters...ect. ect.

Well, Tell Whenever, See ya!

Found You, Found Me, In Pain

2007-02-04T18:28:12Z

My mother and I will start to work out to this old, like 80's, work out video. Called Jane's something work out video. I just know it's looks horribly stupid...it really does. Though some of the stuff they do is okay I guess. I still like the palaties dvds we have, though I haven't seen it all the way through. BLAH!!!

Update: Legs. Hurt. Badly. We went shopping for food. My phone is officially drained of money, need to top it soon. Ryhmsing again. Weird isn't it. Anway, I'm fed up with taking peoples sh*t. If you want something to change, DO something to change it. Don't just stand there and wait tell someone does it for you. Don't whine and make people feel guilty just so you can get a symathtic reaction to make yourself feel better. Don't say life sucks for you until you hear someone else's story. I think that's it for now.

Found You, Found Me, Pondering Once Again

2007-02-01T01:16:02Z

Well, this whole "boyfriend" thing has come up again. I knew it would at one point, bound to happen. I just want closure on a few things before my big birthday, such as some peoples feelings. (I hate having a cold, yeah getting sick and getting worse. The snow doesn't help all that much.) I think that I have reasonable standards for a guy that I would like to have as my love. I said all of these qualities before, refer back to them. I know this doesn't sound like me, but I'm only human as everybody else after all, I think that I kind of deserve a guy I would like to spend my life with. I know, big selfish shocker there. I feel really bad saying all this, but I still can dream.

Well, this cold is choking me. Literally. It takes some courage for me to go to bed, because my nose is runny which means sore throat which leads to no breathing when going to sleep. So, hopefully, if by a miracle, there will be a snowday or my mother would let me stay home, the second time this semester. She says that, "If your not bleeding, dieing, or impaired your going to school. Period." Well, I understand that. Another possibility is I get better overnight. Blah. Sammie isn't moving! I'm glad there. Though it will still feel like she's going away, we really don't talk all that much other than on the phone, which is great and all. It's just not the same with talking to someone face to face. Anyway, I think I've wasted enough of your brain static for one read. Tell Whenever, See Ya!